Sorry for the lack of posting. Funny how life/work/insanity gets in the way of this puppy. Hopefully I will get back to it soon. After my friends stop having birthdays/wedding receptions/family in town/the need for happy hour.

In other news, I am “college tired” today. You know, the “I could really use a nap, but I cannot skip my next class anymore but it might be worth it because I was up super-late studying/writing a paper/drinking to celebrate a Tuesday” kind of tired. And that is my cue to take massive amounts of allergy medication and ride the loopy wave to health.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that’s right: it’s allergy season in Texas. Woo hoo!

Reaching

Night falls again
and I am still in bed.
I wake for a moment,
reach for you. But
You are not there.

Where did you go?
I pull the covers over my head
and cry for a while.
In my sleep, I had
forgotten that you left.
I curl up, then stretch.
I have the whole bed.
You are not there.

Morning nudges my arm,
and I struggle to wake up.
Sleep has me hostage, but
it is easier that way.
I look at the dawn of a
brand-new day. Then,
I curl up once more.
I know not to reach out,
though I yearn to try.
It doesn’t matter.
You are not there.

So before I left for Rome, I got a huge project finished at work. I anticipated a nice ease back into work after Rome, which would allow me to have some energy at the end of the day to devote towards many other things, including this blog. Needless to say, that did not happen. What I was thinking, I don’t know. I mean, who takes a week off of work and then comes back without a mountain of stuff to do?! Plus, on top of it all, we hired a bunch of new people and I am high enough up in the company now (that’s right, suckas!) to train these many new people. Oh, short to-do lists, how I miss you.

I also, through the generosity and general electronics-loving fun of a co-worker, got a Wii Fit in ths last month. The Wii Fit really deserves an entire post in and of itself. Needless to say, I am out of shape and unbalanced. I am pretty sure I could have told you both of these things without the Wii Fit, but now I get to hear it from a computerized device. The combination of work and Wii Fit has left little time for anything else – mostly it leaves time for hanging out with friends, eating, sleeping, and cuddling with Lola.

This is all just a really long-winded way of saying, “Hang in there, I will return.” I will post about the wonderfulness that was Rome and other things, including Wii Fit, in the coming weeks. Just bear with me as I get through the insanity that is my life right now.

Well, I am back in TX after a wonderful week-long trip to Rome, Italy. I will surely post a picture or two, as well as a recap of the trip and some surprising/interesting things I learned while in Rome. For now, however, I need to get back into the swing of things at work, do some laundry, play with my dog, and just enjoy the company of people who are not my family. No offense, but it’s nice to be among friends again. (My family is cool, but after a week together, I think we need some “alone” time before hanging out again. It just works better that way.) Come back later this week (all 5 of you who read this, if the number is even that high) for details on the fantastic Roma, Italia!

Ciao!

Like many other people about my age, I find myself thinking about dreams I have/had and how to achieve them or decide if they are worth achieving. So, without further adieu, I will let you in on a few of those dreams. (Side note: some are less dreams and more goals I am setting for myself, but still, achievement of said dreams/goals is the point.)

Dream #1: To become a published writer

Due to the nature of my job, I have circled around this goal and sideways achieved it. I have written short stories and poems that millions of children see each year, but I think I would like to write a book at some point. Perhaps for children, since that is where my current talents/thoughts lie, but we will see about this.

Likelihood of achieving said dream:about a 6, on a scale of 1-10. There is no doubt in my mind that I could write a book, even a children’s book, but the likelihood of getting it published is wherein the trouble lies. But, toward that end, I am going to start writing down ideas, thoughts, things that grab me, and see if I cannot get at least a short story out of said notes.

Dream #2: Have a job I love

I always have a hard time listening to people complain about their jobs, namely because I have very little to complain about. Also, in the last few years, I have strove to become a far more positive person than I have been in years past. I have known for many years that I wanted to work with writers and editors in putting out a product many will love. Originally, I thought that meant books. Now, I realize that lies elsewhere.

Likelihood of achieving said dream: 10. I have already done this. Though I may complain some days or get stressed, that is just a part of life. I LOVE my job. I feel so lucky to have stumbled into my line of work, and I cannot imagine leaving it anytime in the near future. Having said this, I challenge others to find this kind of joy in their daily work – there is always SOMETHING to like about a job, no matter how hard you have to work to find it. If you don’t like your job, find a new one. If that is not feasible, find something else that will fulfill you in a way work cannot.

Dream #3: To be happy and healthy in all endeavors

Sometimes, I tend to focus too much on the negative. I also have a bad habit of letting the rest of my life interfere with eating/cooking healthy foods and working out. This is more of a goal, but I would like to begin working out at least 5 times a week, with a little cardio all 5 days and a little weight-training 3 days (to start). I would like to cook a meal at least 3 times a week, more if the meal does not include much in the way of leftovers. I do enjoy some forms of exercise, and though I hate to clean up afterwards, I actually like to cook. I even like to cook healthy meals. I just HATE cleaning up.

Likelihood of achieving said dream: 8. I have become a much more positive and upbeat person, and I am actually pretty happy with my life thus far. It will be relatively easy for me to cook this summer, at least after my vacation. The hardest one for me to start is the exercising, but if I hold myself to 5 days a week (a week being Sun-Sat), then I know I can get that done. I tend to make myself feel guilty if I miss a day in a 7-day schedule, but 5 days will allow for a little leniency (and post-work happy hours, of course).

Dream #4:To make a difference in someone else’s life, more for them than me

This really comes down to volunteering. I like volunteering. I like knowing that what I do is going to make someone else’s life more manageable on some front – even if it just means putting a smile on his or her face for a few hours. I have not volunteered much since college, and I need to get back into this. It makes you feel good to do something good for someone else.

Likelihood of achieving said dream: 8. My church has several opportunities for volunteering, including Habitat for Humanity. My biggest obstacle to overcome with this is shyness. I am ridiculously shy around people I do not know – completely absurdly so. I want to get over this hurdle that I have had for many years. Volunteering will help, since I will have to meet and interact with new people. Plus, I think my love of volunteering will allow me to jump over that hurdle – even if I stumble a time or two.

Well, wish me luck in trying to achieve these things. I will keep you (whoever the hell reads this) updated as to my progress. Perhaps I will even post a story, poem, or idea on here in the hopes of reaching dream #1. As far as cooking and exercising goes, all bets are off until after Rome, though I may try to work out a little next week in anticipation of the massive amount of trekking we will be doing all over the city. Until then, dream on, dreamweavers!

Nothing like a little Springsteen to start off the first post in a while.

Anywho, things have been insane lately. Work got busy, then slowed down, then other things got busy, and now, I have a little time. Well, until vacation at least. So, how about a quick game of catch-up?

Becca and Toby’s wedding went off without a hitch (haha). It was a gorgeous day outside, everyone looked nice, and I did not cry (though I got close once). I even managed to make a decent speech at the reception. Amanda was the first guest in my furnished 2nd bedroom, and Lola enjoyed a little extra company. Pictures will go on facebook soon, probably sometime this weekend. I know I have been promising pictures for a while, but seriously, I will put them up this weekend (along with some other random pics). Other aspects of the wedding weekend – bachelorette party and rehearsal dinner – also went well. We even got a VIP “room” at this bar we went to for the bachelorette party. What can I say – we are some classy gals. I am so glad for them that the wedding went so well, and Becca looked absolutely beautiful.

Bowlby came in town for some job interviews, and I got to hang with her at a bar downtown. It was great to see her again, and I REALLY hope she gets a job in Dallas soon so I have yet another friend to hang out with.

Work is busy, but finally slowing down, and just in time. My major project should be over in about a week or so, and then I can get some other minor things done before I go on vacation.

I’m going out with Mel, the brother, and other troublemakers for some birthday celebrations – Mel and the brother’s, that is. I expect it will be a good time, though I am going to need a snack after work so I can wait to eat dinner until after 9pm. And now I sound like an old lady. What else is new?!

I got my hair cut last weekend, and I am finally warming up to it. I like my new bangs, and I am getting used to the length. It is about an inch or two shorter than I originally wanted, but it still looks pretty good.

Finally, I have a slight obsession with Whole Foods. First of all, they just might have some of the best produce around – or at least within 2 miles of my house. Everything smells good, is fresh, and looks exactly the way you want your fruit to look. Second, the people in the store are helpful and friendly. The woman checking me out (ringing up my goods, pervs) was smiling and conversing with me in a pleasant manner the entire time. There is something about a nice, happy cashier that just makes any shopping experience a little bit better – especially being at the grocery store at the height of shopping hour (around 5pm on a weekday).

And finally, I have mentioned vacation quite a bit, so perhaps I should share a little about it. The fam and I are going to Rome for about a week to enjoy the sights, food, wine, shopping, and more wine. Be jealous. Or perhaps just be nice, and I might bring you back something.

Break time’s over! See you on the flipside!

My week/weekend is about to get crazy, but more about that after the wedding. This last weekend was pretty fantastic, and it did not include anything really wild or crazy going on. Sometimes, those are the best weekends.

To back up a bit, about a week before, I bought some furniture for my 2nd bedroom. Just a chest, a mirror, and a nightstand. I got these from the wonderful store knowns as Crate & Barrel. Now, this furniture had to be put together (well, not the mirror, but you get the point). My mom, dad, and grandad generously offered to come over and help me put this furniture together. This means more than you know – I am not too handy with the tools. Also, I tend to get frustrated easily (wonder where that comes from?).  So the furniture was delivered on Wednesday (the same day I decided to make the fantastic Crock Pot pork tacos about which my brother blogged), and after talking with my mom, we decided they would come over on Saturday.

Furniture buying is just one of the joys of owning a house, my friends. I LOVE buying furniture. Some of the other things, like having to pay an air-conditioning company to come out and fix your air conditioner in Texas heat. Argh. But I digress (love that turn of phrase).

So Saturday, my parents and grandad came out to put some furniture together. It did not take them too long, and only one drawer was put together backwards (pretty impressive, considering how confusing those directions could be). My mother had the important task of watching over all and holding on to Lola, while I unwrapped the various parts, bolts, etc., and my dad and grandad did the manual labor. This is only one of the many fun things about being a girl with take-charge male relatives. I don’t have to do the heavy lifiting, just the initial “begin the project” work.

Needless to say, the furniture looks really amazing, especially for as inexpensive as it was. I am really excited about how my 2nd bedroom is starting to come together. This weekend, it will even be tested out, as Amanda comes to stay with me this weekend for the aforementioned wedding activities.

Sidenote: After spending the afternoon with my parents and grandad, I went to dinner with Ashley and Cluster (or Andrew, if you prefer). We went to Village Burger Bar, had some delicious food, and then went back to Cluster’s to watch Gone Baby Gone. Note to Ben Affleck: please stop acting. Just write and direct films instead. You are so good at that, there is not need to bore/horrify America by acting anymore. Thanks!

So, to make a long story longer (and much more rambly – it’s a word!), if ever you are drunk/tired/lazy/bored/all/none of the above in Dallas, give me a call. The second bedroom awaits. (But I am NOT holding your hair while you get sick.)

On Saturday, I went to Austin for an unofficial pledge class reunion. I did not go Friday because of many work & dog related issues, but I managed to get my butt in gear and get down there early afternoon.

We stayed in a pretty nice (and cheap, yay) motel close to downtown. The other patrons of the motel were quite interesting. Actually the city was quite interesting this weekend. There were two major events going on: 1 – hot rod convention, and 2 – relays. We witnessed some of the randomness that was the hot rod convention while we wandered around South Congress. The relays were witnessed all over town in the strange amount of traffic at weird spots, HORRIBLE drivers, and massive amount of motorcyclists (yes, strangely enough, it was relay-related).

All in all, we had a great time. I could easily just spend all weekend in a hotel room, drinking with these girls, but getting to go out in Austin was a blast. South Congress is such a fun area, filled with random stores, restaurants, outdoor seating, bars, etc. We enjoyed beer and live music at Gueros – more or less enjoyable, though it got quite crowded as we were leaving.

Saturday night, we decided to go to a very Austin-ish dinner off Lake Travis. After looking at prices, quality of food, etc., on the Internet, we decided on Carlos and Charlie’s. While waiting for a table (which always means getting a drink at the bar for us), I ran into a guy from my brother’s fraternity. Pretty funny. The food was alright, but the view more than made up for any shortcomings. Plus, I had some pretty great company. What’s not to like?!

We then went to Vino Vino, a wine bar outside of downtown, to meet up with a few friends. We enjoyed a few bottles of wine, amazing chocolate mousse, and good company in a nice atmosphere. This was definitely my kind of place. After that, we ran off to meet another friend at the Flying Saucer. We had some beers and cheese fries (always a good idea after a few drinks), and then headed back to the hotel for a little post-partying.

It was a rough morning, but totally worth it. I am so glad I went down to hang with my girls, despite how much has been going on up in the Big D. It was a great chance to relax and spend time with some of my favorite people in the world. I definitely look forward to getting together with them again.

Everyone has a special place all their own. A sanctuary, a retreat, an asylum… call it what you will, it is a place for you to let go of whatever it is that bothers you. My place, as weird as this sounds, is my bathroom. Not just my bathroom, though. It’s my bathtub/shower. That is the one place, no matter how I am feeling, I can take the full weight of my emotions and pour them out in whatever way feels best to me.

A bath is for a release of tension, stress, muscle aches, or frustration. In a bath, you do not sit upright, you do not worry about anything, and you do not feel the aches and pains of the day. Instead, you let go. You allow the warm water to surround you, and you feel comfort, protection, safety. In a bath, nothing can bother you, hurt you, affect you. It is an escape into a wonderful floating space of warmth.

 A shower is for a release of despair, anger, sorrow, or thrills. In the safety of the warm, pouring water, I have yelled, danced around, sang, and sobbed. There is no worry about who will see me, who will hear me, or who will hurt or change me. It is just me, letting go of a powerful feeling through some of the most basic human actions. At the end of a shower, I feel a strange calm. It is like I have allowed myself to put everything I had into that cry, that singing, that shout, and now I am empty of that negative feeling. Instead, all that is left is a peaceful love – the same love I feel when I exit the church building on Sunday. It is a love I cannot explain, but I know I do not want to live without it. It is that love that makes me KNOW that we are never, EVER alone. From our darkest to our happiest times, God is there, watching over us, loving us. He rejoices with our every happiness, and he grieves with us in our sorrow. He stands with us, helps us through our anger, our stress, our discomfort. It is a wonderful feeling, and one that I cling to as long as I can.

The best part of that release of emotion in the shower? That peace stays with me all the next day. I usually fall into a deep, often dreamless sleep after that outpour, and I awake the next morning ready to face challenges and take on whatever life is going to throw at me. I only hope that everyone can find that peace for themselves. I know that I would not want to live without it.

Sorry for the long absence, kids (or two people who actually read this thing). It’s been a busy several days. Work finally calmed down, but then the rest of life sped up. Good things, mostly. I celebrated my dad’s birthday (twice), played Wii (finally got one!), saw some friends from San Antonio (more food), and hung out with some work people (i.e., happy hour).

I’ve been thinking more and more about what I want to do with my life outside of work. I know that I would like to write a book or short story and maybe even get it published. However, I am spending all of my creativity lately on work stuff. Soon, that will calm down. Then, I can put my creativity toward outside things. Also, I want to volunteer. I would like to get involved in church more so that I can take advantage of the volunteer opportunities there. I miss all the volunteer work I used to do in college, plus I will get to meet people.

 I’m starting to work out more. I’m doing pilates at home, and I will be going to a power yoga class starting this week. I actually miss working out a little, which is weird. I am not really a workout buff, but I used to dance a lot. I like pilates because it uses those same muscles and the movements feel like dance. Hence me getting back into pilates.

By the way, Nintendo Wii is a lot of fun. Plus, I am a little sore from it – I did some boxing last night. So fun!

Well, off to finish the last few minutes of my work day and then work out. See you on the flip side (of this blog entry).