Here I am, writing. Again, sort of. The truth is, I miss writing. I crave it like some people crave ice cream, cigarettes, and coffee. The weird part is, I write almost every single day. It’s my job.

Yes, I am an editor for a company. I spend much of my time writing creatively. And that is all I will say about my job. So how can I miss writing?

Easy. I don’t write for myself at my job. I write for my job. I miss writing for me – writing to get out frustrations, to clear the edges of a fuzzy thought, or to express emotions I didn’t even know I had. I have been so busy writing for my job that I have not written for me in quite some time. So, here I am.

The truth is, my brother started me writing. Well, my brother and Project Runway. (Wow, I make NO sense. But bear with me.) For Lent this year, my brother decided to do something different. Instead of giving up something, he added things. One of the things he added was song writing; another was blogging. He had always wanted to write a song, so he was going to do it. That got me thinking: what have I always wanted to do? The answer was very simple: I wanted to write, for a living. Technically, I was already doing that, but not in the way I intended. I have always known that I wanted to write a book. NOT publish a book, per se, but write one. I don’t care if it gets published, but I want the accomplishment that comes from writing a book. I want to write something that is witty, surprising, and interesting and that I am proud of, even if no one else but me reads it. So how does Project Runway fit in, you are asking about now (if you remember that). I watched a marathon of it yesterday, and I found myself so impressed by these designers. I mean, these people gave up their lives, their jobs, their immediate future – all to enter a contest that they might not win. They were so passionate about their chosen career path that they were willing to do that. So, again I say, here I am.

I realize that writing a book online is not a good idea. That is not what my blog is for. It is for two things: 1) to unclog my ever-cluttered mind, and 2) to get myself back into the habit of writing for me. So enjoy my insanity, if you can follow my train of thought. It is a tangled web we weave, and I wish you luck untangling my web.